My Journey Aug 8 A life of Pian


Pain, Pain, go away, don’t come back today

Wouldn’t that be nice, reminds me of the little ditty we sang as children. But singing away the pain doesn’t help. Neither does crying, in fact, the very act of crying increases the pain. But then everything increases the pain.

Today I went to the store, was so proud that I left the cane in the van, of course, I had the shopping cart to hold on to and thought I was standing tall and walking like a person who isn’t suffering with the pain. I was happy to be out and felt free.

Imagine, while I was doing all in my power to hide the pain, how I felt when a grown woman pointed to me and said, "See the lazy bitch, leaning on the cart, she’s probably stupid as well." This is what she told her children.

I turned on her, "Yes, I’m leaning on the cart, I struggled with blood sweat and tears to get out of my motorized wheelchair, was so happy to leave my cane in the car, and only hold on the cart.  I’m not lazy–I’m a miracle.  And in future-when you point at me YOU Will ADDRESS ME AS MS BITCH, IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?  Those caps are the words I shouted as loud as I could.  In fact, I was shouting at her all the time, but got even louder as I went on.

Some people clapped when I shouted at her, and that made me feel even worse.

I just couldn’t stop the tears that dripped down my face as I left the store-still holding on the cart-still in pain – but now the tears were with pride as well-because I told her off.  

By the time I got home-about a 5 minute drive-I had to lie down for two hours before I could even get a cup of coffee.

That woman stold my pride- a thing I worked so hard and so long. I walked without my cane and she called me a lazy bitch.  Why are people so hateful?

I wish I had just punched her in her stupid face, now I don’t even want to go to a store again, after the years it took me to walk one day without a cane.

I know I shouldn’t let this bother me, but it does and I have been crying off and on every since I got home.

This is the same blog I posted on some of my other sites.



About albanylinlin5

Love reading with my Kindle 2, Rode the big bikes all my life, but can't ride anymore. Love spending time with a special person who can enjoy b eing quiet together or out and about having fun. Love music, Susan Boyle, early Charlotte Church and more
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